"happy birthday, pygmy!"

zulu:

halala ngosuku lokuzalwa elibhekwa njengabaThwa!

esperanto:

feliĉan naskiĝtagon, nana!  

dutch:

gelukkige verjaardag, dwerg!

norwegian:

gratulerer med dagen pygmé

danish:

tillykke med fødselsdagen, pygmæ!

finnish:

hyvää syntymäpäivää, kääpiö!

czech:

všechno nejlepší k narozeninám, trpaslík!
lol the primary definition of trpaslík is 'gnome'

casteshano:

feliz cumpleaños, enano!

galician:

feliz aniversario, pigmeo!

catalán:

feliç aniversari, pigmea!

basque:

zoriontsu urtebetetzea pygmy!

maltese:

għeluq sninha, pigmew!

corsican:

TANTI AUGURI,* pygmy
*the caps are not my doing, it's exactly what google translate spat out. so, yeah, WISHING YOU AN AUSPICIOUS SESSION WITH YOUR AUGUR, pygmy!

albanian:

gëzuar ditëlindjen, xhuxh!
(looks like it would sound like someone sneezing?)

macedonian:

среќен роденден, мал!

that language spoken by the swift, the hairy-headed, the glancing-eyed, the strong-greaved, the bronzed-armored—the achaeans:

χαρούμενα γενέθλια, νάνος!* ** 


* obviously hellenikay has a direct translation for 'pygmy', πυγμαίος. however, νάνος means 'dwarf'. i couldn't resist. 

** should νάνος be in vocative form? does attic greek not have a vocative? is this a conversation we've had already? 

Alexander Gregory, King of the Jews Booze (center), presides over the administration of birthday shots; Kelvin filter